Laughing with Sarah

Two months old - January 21, 2014 So. Here we are already. Samuel is two months old! Samuel is a sweet, sweet snuggly boy. He loves being held up against your shoulder, and calms down quickly if you pat his back firmly while in that position. He is now awake much of the day, and content to look around at the world with his big, blue eyes. We still wonder if his eyes will stay blue or change to brown later on. He has figured out how to smile for real! He is at his happiest right after a diaper change in the nursery, where he can look up at the colorful tree of life print above his changing table. He will stare at it, mesmorized, kicking his legs and waving his arms and smiling and giggling. (We sometimes take advantage of this and strap him in to his changing pad while we run to the bathroom or grab a glass of water.) He is a mama's boy right now, and when he's feeling relaxed, he will lounge on my legs and look up at me and smile and giggle. He loves smiling in resp...

I shouldn't be so suprised that things got very quiet here after Samuel's birth...but there's been so much on my mind and heart it is yet a wonder that I haven't written anything since writing out the epic version of Samuel's birth story and my recovery. Let's begin by stating the obvious: I am 100% in love with Sam. He is adorable, and sweet, and even when he is fussy, he is so darn cute that I melt, even when I would rather get frustrated. And let's begin by stating something else obvious: Our lives are 100% changed. It's hard to remember life before Sam, hard to remember what it felt like to be pregnant, hard to remember what a full night's sleep feels like, hard to imagine going back to work and post-maternity leave "real life." And it's all totally worth it. In the last five weeks, I've thought about many things: Even though the last few weeks were really pretty miserable (more than I let myself believe in the moment), I do ind...

(To read all of Samuel's birth story and my hospital stay/recovery, begin here:  Tuesday, November 19 , Wednesday, November 20 ,  Thursday, November 21 , Friday, November 22 , Saturday, November 23 , Sunday, November 24 , Monday, November 25 ) It is really hard to process everything that happened to me. I was so groggy through so much of it. I don't know what I remember versus what was told to me versus what I've seen pictures of. In the moment, I never felt particularly traumatized by anything that was happening. Looking back, it is amazing to me how many complications piled on, one after another. I can't say that my experience strayed from any ideal birth plan that I had, since I had been so careful not to have any hard and fast expectations about the birth. At the same time, who would ever plan for preeclampsia, a failed induction, a c-section under general anesthesia, and days of dealing with the weak fogginess of low hemoglobin levels. As I've done a littl...

(To follow the whole story, begin here:  Tuesday, November 19 , Wednesday, November 20 ,  Thursday, November 21 , Friday, November 22 , Saturday, November 23 , Sunday, November 24 ) Monday was a lot of hurry up and wait. We had no plans to leave the hospital until the afternoon. The OB department was busy again, which meant busy nurses who weren't around a lot. My parents came over for a little bit, I took another shower, we worked through a lot of discharge paperwork, Jenine came to visit, Matt did a pharmacy run, I watched some Food Network, we learned how to give Samuel a bath, we had further conversations about Samuel's weight and formula supplementation, but my nurses also were convinced that my milk had started to come in and we were on the road back to exclusive breastfeeding. About 4pm, we dressed Samuel up in his going-home outfit, signed the last of the paperwork, cut off all of his (and my) bracelets and tags, and headed out! My parents had decorated the ki...

(To follow the whole story, begin here:  Tuesday, November 19 , Wednesday, November 20 ,  Thursday, November 21 , Friday, November 22 , Saturday, November 23 ) Sunday morning, I held onto Samuel after his morning feed. Dr. Locke stopped by to give me the good news that my hemoglobin was trending up, even if it was still low, and that he wasn't ordering any labs for me on Monday. I ate breakfast and watched some TV, and even shuffled around the room a tiny bit after they took my booties off. We had a surprise visit from a couple from church late morning, and then I got to do something awesome: take a shower. And not just that, but put on real clothes afterward. That was another step toward feeling human, like myself. Then Matt ran off to feed the cats and do a Culver's run (to escape another hospital meal...probably a bit of a mistake....). Then we snuggled in and watched football, and napped, and FaceTimed with Beth and Nick. After dinner, my parents returned (they are...