Laughing with Sarah

I get a little weepy if I think too hard about what I was doing exactly one week ago today. Last Sunday night, after a fabulously fun progressive dinner with the high school youth group, I came home and my tummy felt a little crampy and "off," which seemed like it had everything to do with eating WAY TOO MUCH DELICIOUS FOOD. (Seriously, all other thing aside, the brownie hot fudge sundae at our last dinner stop was probably not my best decision.) Went to the bathroom before leaving church, and whatever Saturday spotting had been there seemed to have gone away. During the twenty-minute ride home, I had some serious cramping, and was really uncomfortable, but again, figured it was intestines and food-related. I went to the bathroom, and, well, lots of bleeding. Lots and lots. It didn't freak me out as much as it just made me sad. I knew right away that we were losing this pregnancy. Last Sunday night was pretty terrible. Painful cramps that came in waves, and s

Snapshot #1: I just responded to a book review written by a friend of mine on his blog. I was attending a conference based on this book during my "one week wait," that is, the last seven days before you either get your period or figure out you're pregnant. It's a strange window of time for those of us trying to conceive. You try to figure out if you feel any signs of being pregnant, and then even if you think you do, you have to figure out if they might simply be PMS symptoms that you hadn't thought to notice before. It was during my days at this conference that I started feeling strange things that led me to believe that I might be pregnant. I remember my time at the conference being clouded by my preoccupation with every twinge, pain, or cramp, trying to piece together any preemptive evidence that might give me a clear picture of whether or not I was pregnant. The conference took place on a Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday...and it was Sunday at the end of t

Needing some prayers at the moment. With the spotting I'd had this week, I was obviously worried that this pregnancy was headed the same direction as last time. But it turns out that it was headed somewhere worse. I woke up with terrble abdominal pain today. Tried to go to work, but after about an hour, couldn’t deal with it, so I had a good friend drive me over me to the ER. They checked me out, and immediately scheduled me for surgery with a presumed ectopic pregnancy. Turns out that I have TONS of scar tissue from having an appendectomy way back when I was 11. They removed a mass from my left side, scraped out a bunch of scar tissue, and took part of my left tube. They also discovered that my right tube is pretty damaged from the scar tissue as well. So the worst news in all of this is that, at this point, it is dangerous for us to try to conceive normally at this point. A 75% chance of ending up with another ectopic. There are big questions left on the table for Mat