38w6d: What it's really like to be pregnant in Advent

"The Virgin with Child - 1(copyright 2009)" by Catherine Clarke, on Flickr

I'm a pastor and therefore surrounded by church people all the time. People who flow along with the liturgical seasons as we move from church festival to church festival in the cycle of each year.

December marks the season of Advent, a season of watching and waiting for Christmas. There are distinct themes of pregnancy during Advent, and themes of waiting. We count down the days until Christ's birth. We picture pregnant Mary visiting with pregnant Elizabeth.

Which, of course, means that I am surrounded by thoughtful, insightful people who make the connection between the season and my current very-pregnant status. It is lovely. They all want to know what it is like to be pregnant during Advent, and they want to hear about what it is like for me, spiritually. And let me tell you. I want to find some deep meaning and connection between my pregnancy and the Advent/Christmas season. I want to feel like expectant Mary, and I want to feel deeply the expectations of a world needing the birth of a baby to become its savior. I want to feel a kinship with Biblical women, and I want to take to heart the joys and the struggles of Mary and Joseph through their waiting times and into the time of laboring and birthing.

But the truth of the matter is that, for me, Advent and pregnancy have really only felt busy, and not so contemplative.

I have swept the floors, multiple times, and wiped down the kitchen counters too many times to count.

I keep doing laundry, but somehow am always about two loads behind.

I've shopped for Christmas presents and wrapped about a third of them.

We decorated a tree and decorated the house but, yet again, never managed to put up Christmas lights in the windows, despite the fact that we have four brand-new boxes of lights that we bought for that exact purpose at least a year ago, maybe two.

I have proofed and revised and re-proofed bulletins for three Christmas Eve worship services, one Christmas Day service, one New Year's Day service, and our children's Christmas program. I have double-checked the bulletins against the slides that will be projected at some of the services.

I have squeezed in weekly doctor appointments, plus a few extra visits to the clinic for blood pressure checks.

I drank a lot of hot chocolate early in the season but have forgotten to drink any in recent days.

We have somehow managed, as a family, to watch the Grinch, Charlie Brown Christmas, and Emmett Otter. Matt and I watched White Christmas. I turned on Elf and slept through it earlier this week. I turned on Muppet Christmas Carol in the background while trying to finish knitting a baby sweater last night.

I need to put the Christmas tablecloth back on the dining room table before my family arrives later this weekend, but don't want to do it yet, because the cats love to sit on the tablecloth and get hair all over it.

Tonight, we need to catch up on our Advent calendar because we are a couple days behind, but it's ok because Sam will LOVE getting to put up more than one ornament at one time.

Tonight or tomorrow night, we need to take an annual family drive through the Holiday Lights show at the campground.

Tomorrow, I need to go shopping for fabric to back the baby blanket that I finished knitting a few days ago, and I need to remember to ask my mom to bring her sewing machine with when she comes to town tomorrow so that we can actually put the backing on the blanket, and then get it all folded and tucked neatly into my hospital bag.

We've done a couple huge grocery shopping trips in preparation for Christmas dinners and such, but need to compile a list for at least one more giant trip before Sunday.

I need to stop eating cookies and candy...and I also have a few cookies that I need to bake.

Advent has hardly been quiet. It has been buzzing. True to the Advent spirit, it has been filled with preparations. I haven't connected with the image of a contemplative, waiting mother. But I have, apparently, taken to heart the idea that Advent waiting and our faithful waiting for Christ's coming are not times of idle waiting, but active preparation.

If nothing else, I suppose that I can also empathize with Mary in these last days. Because I cannot imagine riding a donkey ANYWHERE right now. And if she and I are anything alike, we have both been sleeping pretty poorly these last couple weeks, and are starting to feel both ready and impatient for babies to show up. Not that we want to rush our babies before they are ready, but there does come a point where preparations start to feel tiring instead of inspiring. And the world stops spinning, at least for a little bit, when babies are born. And I'm ready to hit that pause button. I suspect Mary might feel the same way.