Friday, October 30: Egg retrieval

Here's the before and after shot from last Friday's egg retrieval. I love how the main difference in the two pictures is the presence of toast (or lack thereof). I guess this is your visual proof that my retrieval was uneventful and that I tolerated the sedation well. :)

We left the house before 6:00 a.m., dropping Sam off at a friend's house (who would take him to daycare when it opened) on our way out. Our check-in time was 7:30 a.m. We got there just fine, checked in, and went up to the outpatient surgery floor, where I got all gowned up and IV-ed. We were all ready to go by about 8:20 a.m. And then we waited. And waited. And waited some more. Finally, around 9:30 a.m., they came to get me. I hopped up onto a wheely-bed, and they took me down to pre-surgery, where some nice nurses and a nice anesthesiologist all came to check in with me. And then more waiting. I was there about half an hour, during which time I did one of those "doze off and feel like I'm falling" things, waking up with an audible gasp. I hope nobody heard me!

Finally, they came to get me for real. We wheeled down the hall to a small operating room, where they started pumping meds into my IV and got me all settled on the table. They apologized for having to strap down my arms, but I really didn't notice or care.

It felt like it took forever for the medicine to knock me out. I was lying there, listening to my doctors and the nurses talk about their kids' Halloween costumes while they waited for me to fall asleep. At one point, my doctor asked if I was awake enough to scoot down on the table a little bit. I was SO awake at that point. I could hear the anesthesiologist over my left shoulder, messing with my IV. One of the nurses asked if she could start some of the preliminary prep tasks, and my doctor said, "I don't know - Melissa, are you still awake?" "Yes."

By that point, though, I assured them that my limbs were starting to feel warm and heavy, and that I was finally feeling the medicine kicking in. Sometimes, that heaviness in my limbs is claustrophobic or scary. But this time, it was surprisingly relaxing and cozy. I was out like a light within just a few moments.

I remember waking up in recovery (though I have no idea how I got back onto the wheely bed from the table!), and then being transported back to my room, where the nurses helped me get off the wheely bed and walk over to my real bed. They offered me toast or crackers and juice. Toast please. And cranberry juice. And, having been awake since 4:45 a.m., I was so hungry that I scarfed down the toast in just a few minutes. I drank my juice and talked to my doctor when she came in to give me the report:

They aspirated 21 follicles, and retrieved 21 eggs! A "perfect score."

It wasn't long after the conversation that a nurse accompanied me for a walk around the unit, to complete the recovery checklist: Eat, drink, talk to the doctor, walk the unit. So we were cleared to head out! Matt got to wheel me through the hospital in a wheelchair, and then we got into the car and made a beeline for McDonald's, because we were both still famished! I downed two cheeseburgers and fries, and then slept the rest of the way home.

Since Friday, I've gotten two updates on the egg/embryo situation.

As of Saturday, it was determined that of the 21 eggs retrieved, 17 were mature, and 9 of them fertilized.

As of this morning, all 9 are continuing to develop; 5 are of "good quality," and the reasonable expectation is that about half of all "good quality" embryos make it to the day 5 blastocyst stage.

I am...disappointed by these results.

21 eggs was a GREAT number. 17 mature was a GREAT number. I'm bummed that only 9 fertilized. But ok. I figured that we can work with 9, and hope that many of them make it to day 5.

But now, to hear that only 5 are good quality, and that, on average, I could reasonably hope for, what, 2 or 3 to make it to day five? Ugh. Of course, I can hold out hope that all 5 defy the averages. Or that any of the 4 other ones (that are not "good quality") might also make it to day five and be reasonable for transfer.

I know that they only transfer one at a time. So even 3 good ones means 3 shots at this. And it only takes one, right? ;)

Except that we went through the transfer of TEN embryos to get Sam. I know it was a fluke. I know that our horrible luck means nothing going forward. But on Friday, I mentioned to Matt that this was probably the last time we would be doing egg retrieval (because the hope was to get enough embryos to do frozen cycles if this fresh cycle didn't work, and end up with a second kiddo before we ran out of embryos). But what happens if we don't get enough good embryos for transfer, either for this cycle or for future frozen cycles?

I'm feeling sad and torn. A lot has been different with how Mayo runs their cycles compared to Dr. Morris in Chicago. And I've been optimistic that a new protocol and pattern might be just the thing to shake things up and help us have success. I have no reason to believe that one system is better or worse, but I've been willing to trust that Mayo does what they do because it works, and because it is good for IVF patients and good for outcomes.

But 5 "good quality" embryos that will dwindle to 2 or 3 (or less...or more)? That doesn't make me feel like anything is working as well as I'd hoped. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's them. Maybe it's more bad luck. Maybe I'm fretting over nothing, and we will transfer one, and it will work on the first shot! I have no idea.

I just wish I had a few more embryos to tuck away. A little bigger safety net.