Today I am 24 weeks 3 days.
And so here we are. The next magic milestone. 24 weeks...viability. Meaning that, theoretically, hedgehog could now survive out of my body.
The regular pregnant lady in my brain sees this viability milestone as just a really wacky thing to process. How crazy is it that I've now carried a creature inside of me that could live apart from me?? Like...this hedgehog is actually a living, breathing person, and not just an alien swimming around inside of me.
But viability means much much more to the rest of my brain and heart - the rest of me who knows infertility and loss and all the needle pricks of IVF. To one who has struggled mightily to get pregnant, and who has struggle yet more mightily to stay pregnant, viability sounds like gold. I cannot believe that I'd ever be in this position. Not just to have gotten this far in a pregnancy, not just to have started assuming that there will, indeed, be a baby at the end, but to be in a next place of safety. I keep watching the numbers and percentages, and I keep watching my odds get better and better. And while it might sound really dark to say it out loud, there is yet that voice in my head which says "even if your body, which has been so bad at holding onto pregnancies, decides to kick this hedgehog out early as well, at least there is a 50% chance it will live."
But be assured. I'm not feeling dark at all today. No worries. :)
I just got back from a doctor's appointment. Everything still looks good. I've crossed the ten-pound mark in my weight gain (actually, I'm at just over eleven pounds gained), which my doctor declared "perfect." Not just nice or okay or good, but perfect! Excellent.
Heartbeat was easy to find, and loud and clear. Except that hedgehog totally kicked the doppler right away, and then tried mightily to swim away from it the whole time my doctor was listening to the heartbeat. Pretty funny.
Still too early to know hedgehog's position, but I suspect that s/he is laying horizontal, low in my belly, based on where I'm feeling kicks and punches. Last night, I felt pokes on both sides of my belly at the same time, which was a strange new development. Strange to think that hedgehog is big enough to do that.
My next appointment includes the fabled/dreaded/infamous glucose test. I know that it's not the most pleasant, drinking the super sugary drink and waiting and getting your blood drawn and all, but I've tried to maintain a pretty good attitude about it. I figure that if I don't treat it as a huge deal, then it won't be. Except the nurse who gave me the instructions and helpful hints (keep it cold, be early for labs so that you can get them done right away when the hour's up, bring a snack, schedule a little rest time before the rest of the appointment) made it sound far more unpleasant than I've been expecting. Maybe just because she's seen the whole range of responses to it? I dunno. I wasn't worried about it before, but now I'm feeling a little less enthused. Oh well. I have a whole month before I need to worry about it.
Finally, here's this week's picture! I'm not wearing a stretchy tank today, so it's harder to see what my belly actually looks like. I still think that my belly is strangely low, but my doctor also mentioned that I'm carrying my belly well, so maybe low is normal and good?
And so here we are. The next magic milestone. 24 weeks...viability. Meaning that, theoretically, hedgehog could now survive out of my body.
The regular pregnant lady in my brain sees this viability milestone as just a really wacky thing to process. How crazy is it that I've now carried a creature inside of me that could live apart from me?? Like...this hedgehog is actually a living, breathing person, and not just an alien swimming around inside of me.
But viability means much much more to the rest of my brain and heart - the rest of me who knows infertility and loss and all the needle pricks of IVF. To one who has struggled mightily to get pregnant, and who has struggle yet more mightily to stay pregnant, viability sounds like gold. I cannot believe that I'd ever be in this position. Not just to have gotten this far in a pregnancy, not just to have started assuming that there will, indeed, be a baby at the end, but to be in a next place of safety. I keep watching the numbers and percentages, and I keep watching my odds get better and better. And while it might sound really dark to say it out loud, there is yet that voice in my head which says "even if your body, which has been so bad at holding onto pregnancies, decides to kick this hedgehog out early as well, at least there is a 50% chance it will live."
But be assured. I'm not feeling dark at all today. No worries. :)
I just got back from a doctor's appointment. Everything still looks good. I've crossed the ten-pound mark in my weight gain (actually, I'm at just over eleven pounds gained), which my doctor declared "perfect." Not just nice or okay or good, but perfect! Excellent.
Heartbeat was easy to find, and loud and clear. Except that hedgehog totally kicked the doppler right away, and then tried mightily to swim away from it the whole time my doctor was listening to the heartbeat. Pretty funny.
Still too early to know hedgehog's position, but I suspect that s/he is laying horizontal, low in my belly, based on where I'm feeling kicks and punches. Last night, I felt pokes on both sides of my belly at the same time, which was a strange new development. Strange to think that hedgehog is big enough to do that.
My next appointment includes the fabled/dreaded/infamous glucose test. I know that it's not the most pleasant, drinking the super sugary drink and waiting and getting your blood drawn and all, but I've tried to maintain a pretty good attitude about it. I figure that if I don't treat it as a huge deal, then it won't be. Except the nurse who gave me the instructions and helpful hints (keep it cold, be early for labs so that you can get them done right away when the hour's up, bring a snack, schedule a little rest time before the rest of the appointment) made it sound far more unpleasant than I've been expecting. Maybe just because she's seen the whole range of responses to it? I dunno. I wasn't worried about it before, but now I'm feeling a little less enthused. Oh well. I have a whole month before I need to worry about it.
Finally, here's this week's picture! I'm not wearing a stretchy tank today, so it's harder to see what my belly actually looks like. I still think that my belly is strangely low, but my doctor also mentioned that I'm carrying my belly well, so maybe low is normal and good?
 |
| 24 weeks 3 days |
Comments
Post a Comment