...this is what I look like right now!
I'm 19 weeks as of yesterday, and maybe it's because of going on vacation, or maybe it's because I've started to sprout a little belly, but these last two weeks have flown by. We were in Key West during the crossover to week 18, and while we were on vacation, we (finally) announced our news to the general public:
So, friends, we are rapidly approaching the halfway point of this pregnancy. I'm a week away from my mid-point ultrasound. It won't be the first picture of our little hedgehog - I have the ultrasound picture from embryo transfer day, where he/she isn't even a little dot, and I have a picture from 7 weeks, where he/she looks like a peanut. But it will be our first ultrasound where baby looks like a baby. And then a week after that, our next regular OB appointment. I'm excited to see/hear the heartbeat two weeks in a row!
I have to say, now that the news is out and everybody wants to talk about it, I've gotten a lot braver. I'm worrying far less, and taking more pregnancy things for granted. I think I am okay with this. I don't want to forget the struggle I've been through, nor do I want to minimize the anxiety of so many others who have struggled. And while my anxiety has not completely faded (it never will!), I am trying so hard to make peace with feeling at peace, if that makes sense. Like...it's okay for me to just BE HAPPY, and I don't have to feel guilty when I'm not worrying. AND...I don't have to worry that I'm jinxing myself by getting excited.
I think that the belly and the announcement to the world have helped make this pregnancy seem as real as it's ever felt. I've had horrible acid reflux problems in the last week or so, and I felt pretty miserable a couple days ago. And while I really wish I felt better, I also know that this means hedgehog is growing and squishing my insides...just like a hedgehog should. I feel like I'm in the midst of a big growth spurt right now, where my belly feels noticeably bigger each day, and rounder, and not in a flabby-fat sort of way.
I keep adding things to our registries (which are still for our eyes only), and when we were in Key West, I was stalking strollers that went by, to see if people were using the strollers that I have my eye on. I even stopped a woman in line for ice cream one night to talk to her about her stroller.
I feel like I can finally start believing that this is really happening, and that I can start seeing myself as a pregnant woman, not as "that lady who can't seem to figure out how to hold onto an embryo."
And y'know what? I'm happy. I can honestly, truly say that I am happy.
I'm 19 weeks as of yesterday, and maybe it's because of going on vacation, or maybe it's because I've started to sprout a little belly, but these last two weeks have flown by. We were in Key West during the crossover to week 18, and while we were on vacation, we (finally) announced our news to the general public:
 |
| Jan 2005: We honeymooned in Key West to celebrate the start of our little two-person family. Jun 2013: We are vacationing in Key West to celebrate the END of being a TWO-person family... |
So, friends, we are rapidly approaching the halfway point of this pregnancy. I'm a week away from my mid-point ultrasound. It won't be the first picture of our little hedgehog - I have the ultrasound picture from embryo transfer day, where he/she isn't even a little dot, and I have a picture from 7 weeks, where he/she looks like a peanut. But it will be our first ultrasound where baby looks like a baby. And then a week after that, our next regular OB appointment. I'm excited to see/hear the heartbeat two weeks in a row!
I have to say, now that the news is out and everybody wants to talk about it, I've gotten a lot braver. I'm worrying far less, and taking more pregnancy things for granted. I think I am okay with this. I don't want to forget the struggle I've been through, nor do I want to minimize the anxiety of so many others who have struggled. And while my anxiety has not completely faded (it never will!), I am trying so hard to make peace with feeling at peace, if that makes sense. Like...it's okay for me to just BE HAPPY, and I don't have to feel guilty when I'm not worrying. AND...I don't have to worry that I'm jinxing myself by getting excited.
I think that the belly and the announcement to the world have helped make this pregnancy seem as real as it's ever felt. I've had horrible acid reflux problems in the last week or so, and I felt pretty miserable a couple days ago. And while I really wish I felt better, I also know that this means hedgehog is growing and squishing my insides...just like a hedgehog should. I feel like I'm in the midst of a big growth spurt right now, where my belly feels noticeably bigger each day, and rounder, and not in a flabby-fat sort of way.
I keep adding things to our registries (which are still for our eyes only), and when we were in Key West, I was stalking strollers that went by, to see if people were using the strollers that I have my eye on. I even stopped a woman in line for ice cream one night to talk to her about her stroller.
I feel like I can finally start believing that this is really happening, and that I can start seeing myself as a pregnant woman, not as "that lady who can't seem to figure out how to hold onto an embryo."
And y'know what? I'm happy. I can honestly, truly say that I am happy.
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