It's summer in Iowa. Not exactly hot yet, but getting warmer, and lots of bright sun on the sunny days. Food blogs and Facebook alike are keeping with the season by talking lots about craft beers and chilled summer wines and fruity warm-weather cocktails. I've never been a big drinker, but I definitely wish I could partake, even once in a while, in any of said adult beverages. Apparently, alcohol is one of those things that I don't care about...except when I can't have it.
On a similar note, I'm tired of not being able to eat deli sandwiches. Roast beef sandwiches were in my regular repertoire, but there is NO WAY that I am going to heat up deli roast beef until steaming, just so I can eat it. It's all about the cold, rare meat, my friends. Is it inappropriate for me, right now, to demand that my first post-delivery meal be a Jimmy John's slim roast beef sandwich, with salt and vinegar chips and a glass of whatever Toppling Goliath's fruitiest IPA happens to be on tap that day?
I keep feeling like I should start at least thinking about baby shopping and registries, but I am too scared to look up lists online. Scared that I will somehow jinx this pregnancy if I start making more plans for it. And scared that starting to make said lists will prove to be immensely overwhelming.
Speaking of scared...this has been the week of "HOLY CRAP I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY!" panic moments. Panic about all the weird stuff my body will keep on doing for the next six months. And labor and delivery. And not really knowing if our house is set up well for having kids. And what about logistics, like maternity leave and insurance and hospital bills? And knowing how often to feed or bathe a baby, and associated fears about infant development, since I really know nothing at all.
We're going on vacation to Key West in another two weeks. I'm low on summer clothes as it is, mostly because I haven't ever really invested in good summer clothes, especially work-wear, and also because I got rid of a lot of old, ill-fitting stuff when we moved. Add to this the fact that I'm marginally pregnant, and I really have no idea how to pack or shop for this vacation.
I ran a 5k with my sister this past weekend. And by "ran," I mean jogged slowly for about two minutes at a time before having to walk. Ugh. I probably should have trained even a little bit for the race, since I hadn't run for about three weeks before that. But also...it turns out that your body has to work harder when you're pregnant. I hope that I can keep running, even in intervals, for at least a few more weeks. I'm not quite ready to put away my running shoes yet.
Is it possible to have a form of "pregnancy brain" that manifests itself in zero motivation? I'm not particularly forgetful or scattered (yet, at least), but I am having serious problems concentrating on tasks. And often, I can't even find the energy to begin those tasks. It's very unproductive.
We have a food pantry here at church, which is right next to my office. Every afternoon, I hear the bustle of families coming through to get bags of groceries. Meanwhile, I am hungry ALL THE TIME and have snacks stashed everywhere - in my office, in my purse, in the pantry. And today, I started feeling really guilty about how easy it is for me to get food, and feeling selfish for eating snacks when I know that lots of people have to go to great lengths even to put regular meals on the table. And then I started worrying about pregnant women across the world who don't have enough food to eat. All of these thoughts are totally bumming me out and I don't know what to do about it.
Have I mentioned that I get worn out pretty quickly these days? My weekend nearly killed me. A half-hour yoga/strength training workout on the Wii Fit on Friday, because it sounded like a good idea (and felt pretty good!). Up before dawn on Saturday to get ready for that early-morning 5k. Then lots of standing and walking the rest of the day at my college reunion. Then two hours cramped up in a car. And then Sunday, standing lots at a special worship service in the park, and later, leading a family bike ride. By Sunday night, EVERYTHING hurt. My legs, my knees, my hips, my abs, my shoulders, my thighs, my arms, my neck. After dinner Sunday night, I put on pj's, grabbed two pillows, and curled up on the couch with a blanket. I was DONE.
On a similar note, I'm tired of not being able to eat deli sandwiches. Roast beef sandwiches were in my regular repertoire, but there is NO WAY that I am going to heat up deli roast beef until steaming, just so I can eat it. It's all about the cold, rare meat, my friends. Is it inappropriate for me, right now, to demand that my first post-delivery meal be a Jimmy John's slim roast beef sandwich, with salt and vinegar chips and a glass of whatever Toppling Goliath's fruitiest IPA happens to be on tap that day?
I keep feeling like I should start at least thinking about baby shopping and registries, but I am too scared to look up lists online. Scared that I will somehow jinx this pregnancy if I start making more plans for it. And scared that starting to make said lists will prove to be immensely overwhelming.
Speaking of scared...this has been the week of "HOLY CRAP I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY!" panic moments. Panic about all the weird stuff my body will keep on doing for the next six months. And labor and delivery. And not really knowing if our house is set up well for having kids. And what about logistics, like maternity leave and insurance and hospital bills? And knowing how often to feed or bathe a baby, and associated fears about infant development, since I really know nothing at all.
We're going on vacation to Key West in another two weeks. I'm low on summer clothes as it is, mostly because I haven't ever really invested in good summer clothes, especially work-wear, and also because I got rid of a lot of old, ill-fitting stuff when we moved. Add to this the fact that I'm marginally pregnant, and I really have no idea how to pack or shop for this vacation.
I ran a 5k with my sister this past weekend. And by "ran," I mean jogged slowly for about two minutes at a time before having to walk. Ugh. I probably should have trained even a little bit for the race, since I hadn't run for about three weeks before that. But also...it turns out that your body has to work harder when you're pregnant. I hope that I can keep running, even in intervals, for at least a few more weeks. I'm not quite ready to put away my running shoes yet.
Is it possible to have a form of "pregnancy brain" that manifests itself in zero motivation? I'm not particularly forgetful or scattered (yet, at least), but I am having serious problems concentrating on tasks. And often, I can't even find the energy to begin those tasks. It's very unproductive.
We have a food pantry here at church, which is right next to my office. Every afternoon, I hear the bustle of families coming through to get bags of groceries. Meanwhile, I am hungry ALL THE TIME and have snacks stashed everywhere - in my office, in my purse, in the pantry. And today, I started feeling really guilty about how easy it is for me to get food, and feeling selfish for eating snacks when I know that lots of people have to go to great lengths even to put regular meals on the table. And then I started worrying about pregnant women across the world who don't have enough food to eat. All of these thoughts are totally bumming me out and I don't know what to do about it.
Have I mentioned that I get worn out pretty quickly these days? My weekend nearly killed me. A half-hour yoga/strength training workout on the Wii Fit on Friday, because it sounded like a good idea (and felt pretty good!). Up before dawn on Saturday to get ready for that early-morning 5k. Then lots of standing and walking the rest of the day at my college reunion. Then two hours cramped up in a car. And then Sunday, standing lots at a special worship service in the park, and later, leading a family bike ride. By Sunday night, EVERYTHING hurt. My legs, my knees, my hips, my abs, my shoulders, my thighs, my arms, my neck. After dinner Sunday night, I put on pj's, grabbed two pillows, and curled up on the couch with a blanket. I was DONE.
Comments
Post a Comment