My birthday was on Wednesday. I'm now a year older. 32. That number sounds really strange to me. I think that I never really processed being 31...or 30, for that matter, except that I celebrated 30 by flying off to Africa for three weeks.
For the last five years, each birthday has been both a reminder of what I don't have (a baby) and a chance to re-up my hopes for the coming year. This year, it is strange to be 16 weeks pregnant as we cross my birthday. I feel old at 32 because we don't yet have children, but hopeful looking forward, because a baby is on the way.
My birthday itself was great...and overwhelming.
It was a good, quiet day around the church office, which always feels good. Nice when things aren't stressful or when there isn't a crisis to manage. That evening, Matt's parents arrived from New Jersey for a long weekend visit. Always great to see them.
Prepping for their arrival was a bit of a whirlwind, and I was up and moving most of the evening, getting ready, cooking dinner, going on an ice cream run while Matt wrapped last-minute presents. Over said ice cream, I opened presents and was FLOORED by the generosity. Seriously. It knocked me out a bit. I went to bed feeling...weirdly moody. And got up feeling the same. I blame the hormones.
Anyway, these first few days of 32 have been a little overwhelming. Not because of the age thing. But because we are entertaining guests, and trying to do house projects with their help, and I am less than a week from my next appointment, so I am now 100% convinced that thing have gone wrong, and I can't decide whether I feel too big or too small, and what are these random cramps I feel, and even though I know it's mostly too early, couldn't hedgehog do at least a few mammoth backflips that I could feel?
I don't know what I really expect from this coming year. A baby, God willing, but that's about all I know. We're still settling into our town and our house and my job, and babies change everything. It's going to be a year of unexpecteds and unknowns! Most days that excites me.
So here's to 32, and to continuing this bizarre string of life changes, and to sunny days and family and a Key West vacation coming up in just a few days! :)
For the last five years, each birthday has been both a reminder of what I don't have (a baby) and a chance to re-up my hopes for the coming year. This year, it is strange to be 16 weeks pregnant as we cross my birthday. I feel old at 32 because we don't yet have children, but hopeful looking forward, because a baby is on the way.
My birthday itself was great...and overwhelming.
It was a good, quiet day around the church office, which always feels good. Nice when things aren't stressful or when there isn't a crisis to manage. That evening, Matt's parents arrived from New Jersey for a long weekend visit. Always great to see them.
Prepping for their arrival was a bit of a whirlwind, and I was up and moving most of the evening, getting ready, cooking dinner, going on an ice cream run while Matt wrapped last-minute presents. Over said ice cream, I opened presents and was FLOORED by the generosity. Seriously. It knocked me out a bit. I went to bed feeling...weirdly moody. And got up feeling the same. I blame the hormones.
Anyway, these first few days of 32 have been a little overwhelming. Not because of the age thing. But because we are entertaining guests, and trying to do house projects with their help, and I am less than a week from my next appointment, so I am now 100% convinced that thing have gone wrong, and I can't decide whether I feel too big or too small, and what are these random cramps I feel, and even though I know it's mostly too early, couldn't hedgehog do at least a few mammoth backflips that I could feel?
I don't know what I really expect from this coming year. A baby, God willing, but that's about all I know. We're still settling into our town and our house and my job, and babies change everything. It's going to be a year of unexpecteds and unknowns! Most days that excites me.
So here's to 32, and to continuing this bizarre string of life changes, and to sunny days and family and a Key West vacation coming up in just a few days! :)
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