Today is 13w2d.
We got to my appointment early, which never happens. And they were running right on time, so before I knew it, they'd called my name and I went back to step on the giant hi-tech scale. It really looks far more like a treadmill than a scale, with hand rails and everything.
On our way over to the clinic, I had mentioned to Matt that I was guessing a weight gain of five pounds. I've been weighing lower than I've expected throughout the first couple appointments, and over the last month I've been eating everything in sight, and I definitely feel bigger.
But I stepped on the scale, and I measured EXACTLY the same weight as last month's appointment, down to the ounce. Dr. Locke even made mention of it when he first came into the exam room. He did the obligatory questioning of my eating habits, but really, I was as baffled as anybody about my lack of weight gain. I don't usually have problems gaining weight, just losing it. Anyway, they aren't concerned or anything, and they'd rather have to worry about not gaining enough than gaining too much, and I will inevitably start gaining weight very soon anyway.
Then up on the table I went, and out came the doppler, and within seconds, the glorious glorious sound of a fast, whooshing heartbeat. 160bpm.
I know that I felt a little teary and overwhelmed at our last appointment when we heard the heartbeat for the first time, but today, for some reason, it was even more overwhelming. Sort of like everything has been building to this appointment. Today's heartbeat was the milestone we were waiting for before telling people. And I don't feel in any rush to tell people, but it's still overwhelming to think that there's nothing in particular preventing us from telling folks. We've made it through the first trimester, and we've heard the heartbeat twice, after seeing it flicker on two early ultrasounds. The chances of things going wrong drop so significantly at this point.
And I know that things can always go wrong. I've seen it happen more than makes me comfortable. And I'm notorious for defying odds in the bad way.
Ok. But seriously.
Come on, Melissa.
Knock it off.
Right now, you are the bearer of awesome amazing wonderful news. Something EXCITING. Something that looks GOOD and FINE and NORMAL. And sure. Things could go wrong. Things can always go wrong. But seriously, how about we stop with the worry for just a little bit and get excited. Please?
Because hey, I have a 13 week old baby hanging out somewhere in my belly. And, like, whoa. It's a little crazy to think about how weird and wonderful bodies are, because DUDE. There is ANOTHER PERSON living inside of me right now. A PERSON. Who will have fingers and toes and grow up to eat ice cream and run around outside in the sun and chase the cat and do all of this totally normal human stuff. And that little hedgehog is just chillin' in my belly right now.
It is totally bizarre. And really freaking amazing.
Resolved: I will let myself be excited. I will encourage myself to be excited. I will let other people be excited for me. Because, dudes. WE'RE HAVING A BABY.
We got to my appointment early, which never happens. And they were running right on time, so before I knew it, they'd called my name and I went back to step on the giant hi-tech scale. It really looks far more like a treadmill than a scale, with hand rails and everything.
On our way over to the clinic, I had mentioned to Matt that I was guessing a weight gain of five pounds. I've been weighing lower than I've expected throughout the first couple appointments, and over the last month I've been eating everything in sight, and I definitely feel bigger.
But I stepped on the scale, and I measured EXACTLY the same weight as last month's appointment, down to the ounce. Dr. Locke even made mention of it when he first came into the exam room. He did the obligatory questioning of my eating habits, but really, I was as baffled as anybody about my lack of weight gain. I don't usually have problems gaining weight, just losing it. Anyway, they aren't concerned or anything, and they'd rather have to worry about not gaining enough than gaining too much, and I will inevitably start gaining weight very soon anyway.
Then up on the table I went, and out came the doppler, and within seconds, the glorious glorious sound of a fast, whooshing heartbeat. 160bpm.
I know that I felt a little teary and overwhelmed at our last appointment when we heard the heartbeat for the first time, but today, for some reason, it was even more overwhelming. Sort of like everything has been building to this appointment. Today's heartbeat was the milestone we were waiting for before telling people. And I don't feel in any rush to tell people, but it's still overwhelming to think that there's nothing in particular preventing us from telling folks. We've made it through the first trimester, and we've heard the heartbeat twice, after seeing it flicker on two early ultrasounds. The chances of things going wrong drop so significantly at this point.
And I know that things can always go wrong. I've seen it happen more than makes me comfortable. And I'm notorious for defying odds in the bad way.
Ok. But seriously.
Come on, Melissa.
Knock it off.
Right now, you are the bearer of awesome amazing wonderful news. Something EXCITING. Something that looks GOOD and FINE and NORMAL. And sure. Things could go wrong. Things can always go wrong. But seriously, how about we stop with the worry for just a little bit and get excited. Please?
Because hey, I have a 13 week old baby hanging out somewhere in my belly. And, like, whoa. It's a little crazy to think about how weird and wonderful bodies are, because DUDE. There is ANOTHER PERSON living inside of me right now. A PERSON. Who will have fingers and toes and grow up to eat ice cream and run around outside in the sun and chase the cat and do all of this totally normal human stuff. And that little hedgehog is just chillin' in my belly right now.
It is totally bizarre. And really freaking amazing.
Resolved: I will let myself be excited. I will encourage myself to be excited. I will let other people be excited for me. Because, dudes. WE'RE HAVING A BABY.
YAY!!! (I've been reading and not commenting much, but this one bubbled over!)
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