Last Tuesday (April 2), I went for my second OB ultrasound. According to the date of my transfer, I was 6w3d.
And lo and behold, they found a teensy little baby measuring 6w2d with a HEARTBEAT! 113bpm, which is totally normal for being just over six weeks.
So awesome. So very awesome. For the last week, I've felt sort of pregnant, but a lot myself. Like, boobs are sometimes sore, and they seem huge to me, and there's plenty of bloat going on in my belly. But aside from being crazy tired, no other symptoms.
This past weekend, I crossed the 7 week mark. Today, I feel not so pregnant. And I'm not worried, per se, but I am totally conscious of every little thing my body does. Kind of crampy throughout the morning and early afternoon, which is either totally normal or totally not normal, so I'm trying to keep a level head.
My next ultrasound is tomorrow. I want to see a baby. One that has grown appropriately over the last week. One that still has a heartbeat. One with a faster heartbeat, as you'd hope and expect.
And I'm a little nervous. Each milestone is nerve-wracking.
Today, I decided to stop treating my slightly pregnant self like some fragile, weak, breakable coward...and went running again. Which felt AMAZING.
For starters, the weather is gorgeous. It is in the 50's and sunny. And then our new house here in Decorah is right next to one of the entrances to the 11 mile Trout Run Trail which circles the town. A huge perk! And even when I had to walk because of slush or because of a steep hill or because I haven't run as consistently as I should have over the last couple months, I still felt strong and empowered as I put my body in motion.
As I was running, I had this little epiphany (which happens to plenty of other runners, but not so often for me). I thought to myself,
"You are doing something healthy and awesome right now. How about you keep running, and you eat well, and you start treating yourself like a strong, healthy person? There is no sense in sitting around on the couch, worrying about whether your pregnancy will last or not. It might make it, it might not, but wouldn't you rather spend your time getting strong and doing things you love, instead of just waiting around like an anxious slug?"
So I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. I want good news. But I also need to stop worrying or feeling preemptively sorry for myself. I need to be me, and do the things that make my life meaningful. There is no benefit to putting myself on hold for the next 30-some weeks. Because I don't do stupid things. So there is nothing I can do to affect the outcome of this pregnancy. And so I'm trying to let myself feel liberated by that fact, rather than weighed down.
And lo and behold, they found a teensy little baby measuring 6w2d with a HEARTBEAT! 113bpm, which is totally normal for being just over six weeks.
So awesome. So very awesome. For the last week, I've felt sort of pregnant, but a lot myself. Like, boobs are sometimes sore, and they seem huge to me, and there's plenty of bloat going on in my belly. But aside from being crazy tired, no other symptoms.
This past weekend, I crossed the 7 week mark. Today, I feel not so pregnant. And I'm not worried, per se, but I am totally conscious of every little thing my body does. Kind of crampy throughout the morning and early afternoon, which is either totally normal or totally not normal, so I'm trying to keep a level head.
My next ultrasound is tomorrow. I want to see a baby. One that has grown appropriately over the last week. One that still has a heartbeat. One with a faster heartbeat, as you'd hope and expect.
And I'm a little nervous. Each milestone is nerve-wracking.
 |
| First run on the Trout Run Trail. So lucky to live right by an entrance! A mix of running and walking today to avoid slushy areas. But great to be out in 50s and sunshine! |
Today, I decided to stop treating my slightly pregnant self like some fragile, weak, breakable coward...and went running again. Which felt AMAZING.
For starters, the weather is gorgeous. It is in the 50's and sunny. And then our new house here in Decorah is right next to one of the entrances to the 11 mile Trout Run Trail which circles the town. A huge perk! And even when I had to walk because of slush or because of a steep hill or because I haven't run as consistently as I should have over the last couple months, I still felt strong and empowered as I put my body in motion.
As I was running, I had this little epiphany (which happens to plenty of other runners, but not so often for me). I thought to myself,
"You are doing something healthy and awesome right now. How about you keep running, and you eat well, and you start treating yourself like a strong, healthy person? There is no sense in sitting around on the couch, worrying about whether your pregnancy will last or not. It might make it, it might not, but wouldn't you rather spend your time getting strong and doing things you love, instead of just waiting around like an anxious slug?"
So I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. I want good news. But I also need to stop worrying or feeling preemptively sorry for myself. I need to be me, and do the things that make my life meaningful. There is no benefit to putting myself on hold for the next 30-some weeks. Because I don't do stupid things. So there is nothing I can do to affect the outcome of this pregnancy. And so I'm trying to let myself feel liberated by that fact, rather than weighed down.
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