Lots of things rattling around in my head right now.
I finished at St. Timothy a week ago, so I am in a weird, three-week "unemployed" stretch of time. I'm wasting an incredible amount of that time. Lots of internet and TV and not NEARLY enough knitting. Or packing the apartment to move. I think that decompressing after leaving a church takes more emotional energy than you think it does, and it wipes out your powers of concentration and motivation.
We just got back from taking a long weekend to go house-hunting in our new town. We're scrambling to make offers on our favorite houses, since we already lost out on one back in January. Lots of thinking about money. And thinking about what kind of house we want and what kind we "deserve," and what it would look like for us, a young childless couple, to buy a beautiful four-bedroom house with full finished basement...especially when plenty of families with kids are living in far smaller homes. Maybe nobody will think anything, or everybody will just assume that we're going to have kids and grow into the house, or maybe we'll be outbid and end up with a smaller house and I don't even need to worry about it. But house-buying does heighten my self-consciousness about not having children.
We're flying through yet another FET cycle, hoping to get the transfer squeezed in before we move. We have two good embryos, and a third embryo that needs repeat testing. If that third odd embryo comes back good, then we need to decide whether to transfer two like usual, leaving just one for later, or whether we go for broke and transfer all three. I really truly don't know what to do there. Maybe I'm just secretly hoping that the odd one doesn't test well and we won't have to worry about it?
I browsed adoption agencies in Iowa today. We'll need to work on that soon. We keep talking about adoption, but we need to get off our butts and actually start the paperwork and decide on an agency. To be fair, this conversation got put on hold when we first decided to move, because why start the process in one state if we're moving to another one? Especially if we want to explore domestic infant adoption...
So my head is kind of full at the moment. We're dealing with the BIG THREE all at once: career, house, making babies. Despite the stress, I'm holding it together way better than I though I would. I need to keep up the energy and power through these next few weeks of transition and transfer and moving and getting settled. Prayers for strength! I need to remember that there's a light at the end of all of this, and that I just need to hang on until we get there.
I finished at St. Timothy a week ago, so I am in a weird, three-week "unemployed" stretch of time. I'm wasting an incredible amount of that time. Lots of internet and TV and not NEARLY enough knitting. Or packing the apartment to move. I think that decompressing after leaving a church takes more emotional energy than you think it does, and it wipes out your powers of concentration and motivation.
We just got back from taking a long weekend to go house-hunting in our new town. We're scrambling to make offers on our favorite houses, since we already lost out on one back in January. Lots of thinking about money. And thinking about what kind of house we want and what kind we "deserve," and what it would look like for us, a young childless couple, to buy a beautiful four-bedroom house with full finished basement...especially when plenty of families with kids are living in far smaller homes. Maybe nobody will think anything, or everybody will just assume that we're going to have kids and grow into the house, or maybe we'll be outbid and end up with a smaller house and I don't even need to worry about it. But house-buying does heighten my self-consciousness about not having children.
We're flying through yet another FET cycle, hoping to get the transfer squeezed in before we move. We have two good embryos, and a third embryo that needs repeat testing. If that third odd embryo comes back good, then we need to decide whether to transfer two like usual, leaving just one for later, or whether we go for broke and transfer all three. I really truly don't know what to do there. Maybe I'm just secretly hoping that the odd one doesn't test well and we won't have to worry about it?
I browsed adoption agencies in Iowa today. We'll need to work on that soon. We keep talking about adoption, but we need to get off our butts and actually start the paperwork and decide on an agency. To be fair, this conversation got put on hold when we first decided to move, because why start the process in one state if we're moving to another one? Especially if we want to explore domestic infant adoption...
So my head is kind of full at the moment. We're dealing with the BIG THREE all at once: career, house, making babies. Despite the stress, I'm holding it together way better than I though I would. I need to keep up the energy and power through these next few weeks of transition and transfer and moving and getting settled. Prayers for strength! I need to remember that there's a light at the end of all of this, and that I just need to hang on until we get there.
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