You are right if you figured that my radio silence over the weekend meant bad news.
I made it the full week from transfer to blood draw with no bleeding (unlike last time), but with no hint of any pregnancy symptoms (like last time). After the blood draw, we spent the rest of Friday morning at the Arboretum, which was lovely. A good sunny day for taking walks, eating lunch outside, lingering in conversation, and storming the freezer case for ice cream cones. I got the bad-news phone call just before we were about to leave for the airport, where I was dropping Matt off for a weekend in California for a friend's wedding. I was stuck at home for the weekend because I had to perform a wedding.
After I dropped Matt at the airport, I wandered around downtown Naperville before the evening's wedding rehearsal, and then both the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner were far more enjoyable than I had been expecting. I winked to myself as I drank both a glass of wine and a cup of real coffee at dinner.
Saturday morning, I wandered through the local farmers' market and purchased veggies with reckless abandon, and then sat outside a favorite cafe, drinking coffee and people-watching. I spent the rest of the morning cleaning up, because friends from college were in town and staying with me that night, and then headed off to the wedding and reception, which were also more fun than I had been expecting. I came home to friends and good conversation. Wonderful.
Sunday was another sunny (and super-hot!) day. The sun woke me up early, so I got ready and lingered at Starbucks for a while before church, and then went to brunch at our favorite local diner with my friends before they had to head out on the road.
Monday was a gleeful morning of shopping and cooking before heading to my parents' house for a Memorial Day bbq full of family and friends. It was incredible. Delicious food, hilarious conversation, playing in the yard, perfect. And the best part of Monday was staying up past midnight to drive to the airport to pick Matt up from his weekend away.
I had lots of me-time this weekend. And I filled it with cooking and shopping and cleaning, each of which (in their own way) helps me feel back in balance. I can control the state of the apartment. I can control what I buy. When I have the time, I can control what I eat and the creative process of making it.
What I cannot control is my stupid uterus, who doesn't know a good thing when it has it, and can't figure out that when it is given a gift of two embryos, it might do well to hold onto one of them.
No gameplan yet for a next cycle, but we're figuring we'll start a new IVF cycle from scratch later this summer. And start the information-collecting process about adoption. And hope. We press on. Because it's the only way, you know?
I made it the full week from transfer to blood draw with no bleeding (unlike last time), but with no hint of any pregnancy symptoms (like last time). After the blood draw, we spent the rest of Friday morning at the Arboretum, which was lovely. A good sunny day for taking walks, eating lunch outside, lingering in conversation, and storming the freezer case for ice cream cones. I got the bad-news phone call just before we were about to leave for the airport, where I was dropping Matt off for a weekend in California for a friend's wedding. I was stuck at home for the weekend because I had to perform a wedding.
After I dropped Matt at the airport, I wandered around downtown Naperville before the evening's wedding rehearsal, and then both the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner were far more enjoyable than I had been expecting. I winked to myself as I drank both a glass of wine and a cup of real coffee at dinner.
Saturday morning, I wandered through the local farmers' market and purchased veggies with reckless abandon, and then sat outside a favorite cafe, drinking coffee and people-watching. I spent the rest of the morning cleaning up, because friends from college were in town and staying with me that night, and then headed off to the wedding and reception, which were also more fun than I had been expecting. I came home to friends and good conversation. Wonderful.
Sunday was another sunny (and super-hot!) day. The sun woke me up early, so I got ready and lingered at Starbucks for a while before church, and then went to brunch at our favorite local diner with my friends before they had to head out on the road.
Monday was a gleeful morning of shopping and cooking before heading to my parents' house for a Memorial Day bbq full of family and friends. It was incredible. Delicious food, hilarious conversation, playing in the yard, perfect. And the best part of Monday was staying up past midnight to drive to the airport to pick Matt up from his weekend away.
I had lots of me-time this weekend. And I filled it with cooking and shopping and cleaning, each of which (in their own way) helps me feel back in balance. I can control the state of the apartment. I can control what I buy. When I have the time, I can control what I eat and the creative process of making it.
What I cannot control is my stupid uterus, who doesn't know a good thing when it has it, and can't figure out that when it is given a gift of two embryos, it might do well to hold onto one of them.
No gameplan yet for a next cycle, but we're figuring we'll start a new IVF cycle from scratch later this summer. And start the information-collecting process about adoption. And hope. We press on. Because it's the only way, you know?
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