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Testing, testing, 1,2,3...

The last week and a half has been spent taking care of tests that our RE ordered, so that we can move ahead with our first IVF cycle next month as informed as we can be.

Last week held a blood test and ultrasound for me - my first of either with this new doctor - and it was surprisingly anxiety-provoking. I guess that I haven't had any bloodwork or other procedures done since my surgery. That may explain a little of my anxiety. Earlier this week, Matt had some tests done, and then yesterday, he was the biggest sweetheart in the world, and took the day off to be with me for my HSG.

An HSG - a hysterosalpingogram - is an x-ray of the uterus and fallopian tubes with the use of a contrast dye, of sorts. So the x-ray isn't a big deal, but getting the dye injected into the uterus is a bit of a hassle, and pretty uncomfortable.

I'd heard reports that this particular test was pretty painful...but I'd also heard from people who said that taking a couple ibuprofen prior to the test made everything feel much better. I've heard horror stories and I've heard people who weren't bothered at all by it.

My RE doesn't do this procedure in-office, but rather at a nearby surgery center, aptly named the "Center for Surgery." Being at a surgery center made things more difficult for me than they might have been otherwise. Because after a 15 minute wait in a waiting room, they brought me back, like all of their other surgery patients, to a pre-op room, which felt sort of like the little glass cubicles you might sit in in the emergency room at a hospital. I had to put on a hospital gown and those warm hospital socks with treads on the bottom, and put all of my clothes and belongings in those hospital-grade plastic drawstring bags, with a label on it that had my name, and the date, and my patient ID number. They sat me in a recliner and put a heated blanket over me, and strapped a hospital bracelet onto my wrist.

Now, let's remember something important here: an HSG is not a surgical procedure. They don't cut you open, they don't give you an IV, they don't sedate you. It is a fancy, albeit uncomfortable, x-ray using contrast dye. That's it. So it was a little intense to be treated as if I were about to have knee surgery or my gall bladder removed.

After nearly an hour of hanging out in that pre-op room, in that hospital-green recliner, my nurse (who was also named Melissa) came to fetch me, and I put on the stupid blue hair net, and wrapped my blanket around my shoulders, and walked down the hallway to the room where they would do my procedure.

It was an operating room.

A dark room, with those giant bright oversized dentist's lights. A table in the middle of the room that could certainly be used for surgeries, among other things. My doctor, all scrubbed in and hair-netted, and my nurse, and an assistant, and an x-ray tech. And half-classical, half-new age music playing.

I had to crawl up on the table, and then things moved very quickly. My doctor reviewed the pertinent parts of my chart, and they covered me in lots and lots of blankets, and the moved a big x-ray machine over my belly, and my RE had the whole team introduce themselves, and then we were off.

The whole build-up at this point was so intense that I felt a little panicky and tearful. Even though I knew that this procedure wasn't surgery, and wasn't anything remotely related to surgery, it was still a little scary to be treated as intensely as a surgery patient.

My RE decided to try to help soothe my anxiety by telling me about an HSG he had done earlier in the day, where the woman told him about a previous HSG she had been through with a different doctor, and how it had been such a terrible experience for her...and then after that morning's HSG, she told my doctor that he was so much better and that the procedure had been so much easier and better with him. I'm not sure that the story really calmed my nerves.

But the procedure itself was probably four minutes, beginning to end. He started, and about the time that I thought I was settling in and making peace for ten or fifteen more minutes of discomfort (but not pain! yay!), we were all done. Quick and easy.

My legs were shaking like crazy afterwards, though, and my hands, too. Adrenaline rush, I think. I was glad that they brought me to "post-op" in a wheelchair, because I was pretty shaky. But feeling good. I drank my post-procedure cranberry juice, and relaxed for a bit in a similar green recliner with a warmed blanket over my lap, and even though it was a pretty relaxing, cozy spot to be, I was so glad when they gave me my discharge instructions and I could put real clothes back on and head out.

The quick summary of my day:

  • HSG - The procedure itself was not really so bad. No pain, and not even that uncomfortable.
  • Center for Surgery - A great place if you're actually having surgery, with great nurses and staff. But overwhelming and anxiety-provoking if you're not actually having surgery. Too much build-up for lesser procedures, especially when you are ME and you FREAK OUT about doctors and procedures and needles.

I need to get a grip, I've decided. I need to make it through more bloodwork, and self-injections, and another stint at the Center for Surgery for actual surgery (egg retrieval). I promised myself that I would suck it up and deal with all of these medical interventions, no matter what, because the outcome is too important to me. So I need to do a better job of NOT freaking out. It's my noble goal for the next bunch of weeks.

So next up is a re-consult, to talk about the results of this last week's worth of tests, and to get a gameplan set for my next cycle. There are some new questions and complexities that the HSG raised for Matt and me - nothing bad, just cause for asking different questions than we've asked thus far - and so I'm looking forward to the re-consult conversation. Hopefully that will happen sometime next week, and we can get ready for whatever next steps are along the way for us!

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