Today, I scheduled my initial consult with a reproductive endocrinologist, which is the first step toward the prospect of IVF. It is a first step that I have absolutely no regrets or second thoughts about making, but a first step that is nerve-wracking nonetheless.
I've started working through their extensive new patient health history information form. Overwhelming to have to explain our whole ttc journey in short, clinical, multiple choice responses. And a pain in the butt to try to resurrect dates on all of the various steps along the way, even if most of those steps didn't even begin until this past March.
A strange and unsettling thought came to me as I worked.
No matter how personable and wonderful the doctor is who I work with for IVF, I suspect that, at the end of the day, I will still feel far more like a science experiment than a person. I hate that IVF will make me a medical curiosity when I really just want to be a mother.
Such is the way of this journey, though, I suppose...
I've started working through their extensive new patient health history information form. Overwhelming to have to explain our whole ttc journey in short, clinical, multiple choice responses. And a pain in the butt to try to resurrect dates on all of the various steps along the way, even if most of those steps didn't even begin until this past March.
A strange and unsettling thought came to me as I worked.
No matter how personable and wonderful the doctor is who I work with for IVF, I suspect that, at the end of the day, I will still feel far more like a science experiment than a person. I hate that IVF will make me a medical curiosity when I really just want to be a mother.
Such is the way of this journey, though, I suppose...
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