Laughing with Sarah

Doing IVF is complicated when you live in a small town far from your beloved RE (five hours away in Chicago), and far from a medical center that can handle the particular types of monitoring blood testing and ultrasounds that an IVF cycle requires (an hour and a half away in Rochester). We knew that it was complicated, which is why we talked about whether our last cycle before moving here (the one that, blessedly, resulted in sweet Sam!) would be the LAST last cycle that we ever did. Except, of course, once we had a baby in our arms, there was no question that we were going to want another one. So after our consult with Dr. Morris at the beginning of the summer, we started bracing ourselves for the logistical nightmare that would be this IVF cycle. Realizing that we'd have to be the go-between communicator, trying to get labs scheduled (both locally and up at Mayo) and then making sure the results were sent to the Chicago office in appropriately timely fashions; we had slated...

Plans are underway. Consults accomplished. Appointment and testing requests in the works. If routine tests confirm that everything looks normal with my body and my hormones (we have no reason to believe otherwise), then we are on the schedule for a two-week "vacation" to Chicago, beginning August 15, to begin a round of IVF all over again. The protocol has changed a bit since the last time we went through this - no longer do they seek to accomplish stimulation, egg retrieval, PGD, and embryo transfer all in one action-packed three week span. Instead, they take you through retrieval, and then perform PGD and freeze the embryos instead of trying to rush toward transfer. Which means a shorter on-the-ground commitment in Chicago (better for Matt's and my work/vacation schedules), with a lower-stress FET cycle to happen at a future date. One step at a time. Already, our minds and hearts have slipped back into that willfully forgetful place where we don't think at ...

Fifteen months (or so) - March 11, 2015 Sixteen (almost seventeen!) months - April 14, 2015 Seventeen months (and one day) - April 22, 2015 Sam, life just continues to move faster and faster and faster...and so do you! It's hard to keep up with taking your monthly pictures and writing up your monthly updates! It is springtime, and the weather has finally started to turn warm, and you are growing and growing up as beautifully as the spring shoots and buds that are peeking through the dirt outside. You are so many things these day, little man. You are talkative: You have a pretty decent list of words that you can say! And you babble to yourself and to us in complete sentences, so even when we don't know the words you are trying to say, we know that you are intentionally working to communicate with us in a verbal way. Your favorite words are ball, box, bath, brush teeth (you have a thing for "B" words), and are especially interested in the multi-syl...

Have I mentioned that among all of Sam's words, "Mama" is one of them? Never mind that he hasn't quite figured out how to use it. He calls me "Mama" when he is looking for me. He calls Matt "Mama" when he is looking for him. I think "Mama" is simply his word for whatever adult he wishes were paying attention to him in the moment. And he usually uses the word when he's asking for something. :) Being "Mama" - being a mother - is still all a jumble of things for me. I was thinking about it yesterday. Monday morning felt like Monday morning. It was a little too rushed, we were all a little too tired and sluggish and not quite ready to start the week. There are mornings where Sam's 6:30 a.m. get-up time seems fine, and other mornings when I grumble and wish he could stay asleep until 7:00 a.m. Some mornings, it takes a lot of energy to do all of the things that need to happen to get myself and Sam ready for the day, espec...

Thirteen months (or so) - January 5, 2015 Fourteen months - January 29, 2015 I'm writing this over breakfast, Sam, a week past your 14 month birthday, a month and a week past your 13 month birthday. You are eating Cheerios off of your tray. You just finished a big bowl of oatmeal and yogurt. During breakfast, you've been practicing your baby signs, which you just figured out in the last couple weeks. You signed "more, please" when you wanted another bite. You signed "milk" when you wanted your cup, even though it's a cup of water and we just started working on the sign for "water" today. You said "all done" when the bowl was empty, and signed "eat" when you wanted some post-oatmeal Cheerios to munch on. We practiced signs for "bathtime" and "sleep" and "kitty" and "mama" and "daddy." You love saying "da-da" like you mean it, but you can't quite get your...